Old Cardigan

-
Hai, it's been ages I am not here. But i'm back. With something calm story. about old cardigan you are hanging on. 

I tried to change the ending. I hope it work. I'm scared. Anything i'm scared with many possiblelities. I just don't know how to handle. I'm scared what if both my parent leave me before i can achieve my dream, give them the best of moment. I'm scared with that thought. they eat me several times. 

I tried to taking step back. I guess i'm only extragerated things, but no. As a last kid you'll feel scared that the fact your parent will leave you alone and no one would help you to life because your relatives are busy with their stuff.

i knew everything when I was young. aku cuma takut salah ngelangkah. Kenyataan bahwa aku akan kehilangan kedua orang tuaku bahkan siapapun, bikin aku sadar. Aku harus egois. 

Komentar

Posting Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Ghosties

-
Gambar
Hell(0), reader(s)? Kayak judulnya "Ghosties", kali ini gue bakalan bahas diri gue (tentunya, karena ini blog punya gue jadi suka-suka gue mau bacot apa aja), tentang kecenderungan seseorang buat tergantung dengan sosial media (iya ini gue). Lately, jujur gue merasa gue tuh mencari perhatian lewat sosial media rather than nyari perhatian lewat dunia nyata. Lucu si. But it's sad ironic. Kayak akhir-akhir ini gue tuh merasa dan gue berpikira orang-orang akhir akhir ini, exposed their problems ke khalayak umum, on their social media of course, and it made the problems got bigger and complicated instead find the solution. (ya dan itu gue) Gue tuh mencari perhatian yang gue ga merasa dapatkan saat di dunia nyata. Gue ga membenarkan hal ini, nggak juga mengatakan ini salah. Gimana ya, tiap orang punya penjelasan atas perbuatannya sendiri. Definisi salah benar juga sangat abu-abu saat ini. Terlebih adanya pergeseran nilai dan norma di masyarakat. Bikin penjelasan akan s...
Baca selengkapnya

Wey oH

-
HeyYo? Watdup? Akhir-akhir ini aku ndengerin lagunya NIKI. She's so talented. Terus akhir akhir ini aku juga latian gitar. Which is, pretty fun. jadinya jarang nulis Huhuhuuhuh Ah, ngomongin nulis. Aku tuh ya, masih suka sama penulis yang kemarin aku bilang yang jadinya kepengen ke lalala fest itu loh... JDJSKJ. Cerita yang dia bikin dah tamat. Tapi aku masih belum mau baca chapter terakhir itu. Kek ga mau aja ya tuhan. Ceritanya sederhana tapi tuh ya.... HHHH I can't explain better. Pokoknya the way she write her OC, plot, tempat dan sebagainya not to be detail, tapi tuh gue kayak dibawa ke dalam ceritanya. Sebenernya bukan itu juga alasaan gue jarang nulis di blog ini. Selain blog ini udah ketauan dan jujurnya gue juga pengen dibaca juga. OK, I'm weirdos here. But, it is more like, I need another home to written all my feelings without being interupted. So, I back to my tumblr. Lagian tumblr udah kembali dibuka. Oke deee, aku balik nulis lagi disana. Then, tumblr ma...
Baca selengkapnya

I have to do a lot of things, but why does it feel like I don't know what to do

-
Uhmm... Hello, then. Lately, I really want to do a lot of stuff. Things just came up in my head. I wonder how much time to done all my stuff I really want to do. Studying, Embroderries, break the moots, friendship, Online, Voulenteer, writtings, learn to cook great brownish and dessert, arranging flower, drawing, checking my e-mail, writting poems, making design and so much to do. But I ruined with all the shit social media. Again. It's like you need caffeine but they ruinned with you can't have enough sleep then. I wanna do simple things came up on my life. I really knowing what I should do. like HELL. What's wrong with all this brain, my existance, the whole friends I have, milieu, like ARGGHHTTTT I want to screwed up on things, beat them, and let me looking up the sky for few moment. I spent all this time pretending I'm okay. I really want someone told me that I'm not. Perfectly dead inside. my feelings, I mean. About passion I was looking for 3 years,...
Baca selengkapnya