I have to do a lot of things, but why does it feel like I don't know what to do
Uhmm... Hello, then.
Lately, I really want to do a lot of stuff. Things just came up in my head. I wonder how much time to done all my stuff I really want to do.
Studying, Embroderries, break the moots, friendship, Online, Voulenteer, writtings, learn to cook great brownish and dessert, arranging flower, drawing, checking my e-mail, writting poems, making design and so much to do. But I ruined with all the shit social media. Again.
It's like you need caffeine but they ruinned with you can't have enough sleep then. I wanna do simple things came up on my life.
I really knowing what I should do. like HELL. What's wrong with all this brain, my existance, the whole friends I have, milieu, like ARGGHHTTTT I want to screwed up on things, beat them, and let me looking up the sky for few moment.
I spent all this time pretending I'm okay. I really want someone told me that I'm not. Perfectly dead inside. my feelings, I mean.
About passion I was looking for 3 years, you know, I'm glad that I know my passion is just nothing. Like hey, I just wont to do anymore. But, when I woke up in the morning, I feel lost out of my mind. Do believe anything what was happen and spend more time to checking out my notifications bar is sucking, and exhausting. I'm thristy being my old myself. when all the kind stuff I do is really organized, and clearly I'm smart. Yeah, I was feel smart when I was young then.
Imagine if, I have never depression, imagine if I never messed up, Imagine I was that understand and not compulsive back then, imagine I can control my voice in my head. Ah, thats all just if....
"If" always have sad meaning....
fuck the street, stress. I'm tryin to be alraight. I'm tryin to be honest for myself, but again. I never got me comitment on one things I want to do. Booo Boooo foool on me. inside me. back then me.
people would say, it's okay to not okay. Those feelings are human. It's okay to felt that way.
am I the solution or the problem?
I do feel passionate, but lately I felt I lost those spirit that I kept. Like the sand you handheld was lost little by little.
I want to stay offline. Just little bit, please me, please little bit pain, please just little bit pain.
Lately, I really want to do a lot of stuff. Things just came up in my head. I wonder how much time to done all my stuff I really want to do.
Studying, Embroderries, break the moots, friendship, Online, Voulenteer, writtings, learn to cook great brownish and dessert, arranging flower, drawing, checking my e-mail, writting poems, making design and so much to do. But I ruined with all the shit social media. Again.
It's like you need caffeine but they ruinned with you can't have enough sleep then. I wanna do simple things came up on my life.
I really knowing what I should do. like HELL. What's wrong with all this brain, my existance, the whole friends I have, milieu, like ARGGHHTTTT I want to screwed up on things, beat them, and let me looking up the sky for few moment.
I spent all this time pretending I'm okay. I really want someone told me that I'm not. Perfectly dead inside. my feelings, I mean.
About passion I was looking for 3 years, you know, I'm glad that I know my passion is just nothing. Like hey, I just wont to do anymore. But, when I woke up in the morning, I feel lost out of my mind. Do believe anything what was happen and spend more time to checking out my notifications bar is sucking, and exhausting. I'm thristy being my old myself. when all the kind stuff I do is really organized, and clearly I'm smart. Yeah, I was feel smart when I was young then.
Imagine if, I have never depression, imagine if I never messed up, Imagine I was that understand and not compulsive back then, imagine I can control my voice in my head. Ah, thats all just if....
"If" always have sad meaning....
fuck the street, stress. I'm tryin to be alraight. I'm tryin to be honest for myself, but again. I never got me comitment on one things I want to do. Booo Boooo foool on me. inside me. back then me.
people would say, it's okay to not okay. Those feelings are human. It's okay to felt that way.
am I the solution or the problem?
I do feel passionate, but lately I felt I lost those spirit that I kept. Like the sand you handheld was lost little by little.
I want to stay offline. Just little bit, please me, please little bit pain, please just little bit pain.
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